The Whimpersnufferpickel | Flashback Friday

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NaNoWriMo Update: I’ve set myself the challenge of writing 3k everyday for ten or eleven days. I’ve made significant progress so far after missing a few days, but I’m losing steam (and ideas) so it’ll be interesting to see how that goes.

Today’s story is The Whimpersnufferpickel. I can almost guarantee that this will be the strangest thing you’ve read all day. I wrote this when I was twelve, when we were given the instructions to write a story about a whimpersnufferpickel. Then this happened.

The Whimpersnufferpickel

This story is about the whimpersnufferpickel. That name sounds really peculiar, doesn’t it? I’ll explain.

I’m Professor What’s-Her-Name. I created the whimpersnufferpickel. The whimpersnufferpickel is part wombat, horse, iguana, porcupine, elephant, rabbit, seahorse, newt, unicycle, fish, frog, electric eel, raccoon, panda, insect, canary, kangaroo, emu, and lion. The unicycle got in accidentally. (Actually, I needed another vowel for the name.) His actual name is William Williams. (You can call him Double W.) I’ll tell you how I made him. One day, I was bored. So I made the Morpher 3000. If you get different parts of animals etc, you can morph them together to create something. So, to make a whimpersnufferpickel, you need:

The eyes of a wombat;
The hooves of a horse;
The scales of an iguana;
The spines of a porcupine;
The trunk of an elephant;
The ears of a rabbit;
The tail of a seahorse;
The brain of a newt;
The wheel of a unicycle;
The gills of a fish;
The throat of a frog;
The electricity of an electric eel;
The fur of a raccoon;
The teeth of a panda;
The thorax of an insect;
The beak of a canary;
The back feet of a kangaroo;
The legs of an emu;
And the mane of a lion.

Don’t harm the animals. Here, use my Dead Creature Detector. You use it to look for the dead parts. Then you put each part individually in my Melt-O-Matic. After that, you put a cup of each part in a blender for five minutes on the highest setting. Then, you put it in the Morpher 3000. Leave it running overnight. In the morning, voila! Your very own whimpersnufferpickel!

~~~

Oh my goodness I’m dying. That was a glorious mess.

I cannot decide what my favourite thing about that was. Probably the fact that I tried so hard to spell out the name with different animals, and yet I missed the letter m. Or maybe the fact that this person was bored, so they made a machine that can morph animals. Or maybe just that this is so strange and random.

Well. There you have it. That is the story about the whimpersnufferpickel (Hallelujah! Autocorrect has finally decided that it is a word, so I don’t have to type the whole thing!). Your life has been made so much better.

Double W? Really? What is the purpose of that?

I’m so dumbfounded by my creativity as a child.

Arohanui,
Tessa Ann

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2 thoughts on “The Whimpersnufferpickel | Flashback Friday

  1. Your childhood writings are so glorious and creative compared to my humble origins. I pretty much lost it when you were listing all those animals and you threw in a unicycle. I wish I could have met your younger self. 🙂

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    • My younger self was a force to be reckoned with, I can tell you that. And I have no idea why it wasn’t a unicorn instead, because I was pretty much obsessed with those. But a unicycle apparently worked just as well 😛

      Like

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