NaNoWriMo Update: this is going to be a long month.
Sport is dumb. Don’t argue with me about that. I’m right and you’re wrong. Unless you agree with me, in which case you are very much right.
The Rugby World Cup just finished, and it was pure torture for me. I honestly could not care less about it, but I live in New Zealand. We won. And we are flipping obsessed with it. I scroll through my Facebook newsfeed, and it goes rugby, rugby, Halloween, rugby, ooh NaNoWriMo, rugby, Halloween, rugby, earthquake, rugby.
I’m not kidding.
So today I will be passionately discussing why sport is dumb and needs to be permanently banned from the world.
When I say sports, by the way, I’m generally referring to multi person sports that involve a ball of some kind.
1. I suck at them
No one likes to be bad at things, myself included. So when you are bad at the one thing that everyone is obsessed with, it kinda sucks. I have two medical reasons to suck at it – a lack of depth perception thanks to my eyes, and an inability to be active for a long period of time thanks to my heart condition. Coz, ya know, I could die if I play sports. Let’s put it this way – imagine you’re with a group of friends, you’re dyslexic, and they suggest a speed-reading competition. Or you have two broken arms and someone suggests a pushup contest. That’s me and sports.
2. They seem to override everything
You’re watching the news. There’s a story about people dying in a plane crash. Then, the next story is about a group if overgrown men chucking a ball to each other. HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? Sport seems to have such a high priority, when it really shouldn’t. We put it above or at the same level as real issues and news stories. And sportsmen and women get paid ridiculous amounts of money for doing stupid, pointless things like hitting a ball back and forth. Think about all the other places that money could be going. People who save lives get paid less. If we eliminated sports, the money could go to much better places, and time on the news could be dedicated to what really matters.
3. I’m a doer, not a watcher
I do not understand in the slightest the purpose of watching sports (especially at three in the morning, which many, many New Zealanders did yesterday). I slightly understand playing it, because yes, it isn’t always terrible. But watching it? Why? What is the purpose? You’re just watching a bunch of people get sweaty and hopefully get some points. It’s really stupid. It doesn’t benefit you in any way, shape, or form.
4. They are dangerous
Sports are extremely dangerous. I know of a guy who ended up paralyzed after a rugby game. So. Many. Injuries. While participating in sports, I’ve had a hockey stick to the jaw, a soccer ball to the face (and that girl could kick), a sprained wrist, and an extremely bruised ego. And I don’t play sports on a regular basis. In one term of cricket at school, we had a broken leg, broken finger, dislocated elbow, and countless bruises. It is not worth it. Reading, on the other hand, is basically injury free. It’s lovely. Even watching sport can be dangerous. During the 2010 FIFA World Cup (I have no idea how I know this because I was 12), a guy in Germany (I think) was killed in a bar brawl because of the games. He was killed because of a soccer game that he wasn’t even participating in. WHAT?!
5. EVERYONE IS SO FLIPPING OBSESSED WITH THEM
SERIOUSLY. I go to church, and people are talking about the rugby. School? Rugby. Bible study? Rugby. Youth group? Rugby. Girls’ Brigade? Rugby. Even at the dinner table, in my non-sporty family (my older brother did half a season of T-ball and my younger brother did one season of soccer), they talk about the rugby. WHO. CARES. SERIOUSLY. It is literally just some big men tossing around a ball for an hour, AND WE’RE FLIPPING OBSESSED WITH IT. HOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?! People go crazy for sports, and it drives me crazy. It makes no sense.
I guess now would not be a good time to mention that I used to get up early on a Sunday morning to watch a TV programme about rugby. But it was a kid’s programme, and it was funny and entertaining.
But not as early as people (including my brother) got up to watch the rugby. THEY GOT UP AT 3AM. THAT’S VALUABLE SLEEPING TIME WASTED ON SOMETHING THAT’S GOING TO BE PLASTERED ALL OVER FACEBOOK ANYWAY.
I’M MAD AT THE WORLD FOR BEING CRAZY ABOUT SOMETHING I DON’T UNDERSTAND. WHY, WORLD?! WHY?!
Ahem. I need to get to bed. Last day of school tomorrow (other than exams) and I’m doing a speech at prize giving, which could be interesting.
WHY IS SPORT SUCH A MASSIVE DEAL? IT’S STUPID AND POINTLESS AND GAHHHH!!!